Top Recruiters: What Principals Want Their Estate Managers to Know

Co-authored by Mark Harbeke

A week after I presented my final Coffee Talk Zoom session of 2021, titled “How To Train Your House Manager: What Your Employer Wants You To Know,” I am still riding the wave of excitement I felt sharing what I learned after picking the brains of some very knowledgeable recruiters for UHNW principals. These being:

• Nancy McIlvaine,

• Stephen Candland of Private Staff Group, and

• Brian Daniel of Celebrity Personal Assistant Network

I am SO grateful for their insights and appreciative of their time! 🙏

If you missed my live session, you can watch it below. It’s the perfect length to take in with your next cup of coffee superfuel. ;)

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The video is pretty short, but if you’re looking for an even quicker way to digest the main takeaways, read on.

Principals’ top 6 things they’re looking for from their estate managers…

• Their number one pet peeve? As one principal put it, “Don't oversell your services in the interview process and then underdeliver during your employment.”

• Comment no. 2: “I want someone very competent and more skilled than myself regarding managing multiple properties and streamlining procedures.”

• Comment no. 3: “I don't want to chit chat with this person. As a principal, I want a friendly and approachable EM, yet I am not looking for a friend.”

• Comment no. 4: “I want this person to come into the position with proven tech skills, having already utilized the latest software most appropriate for private residences.”

• Comment no. 5: “Create less work for me, not more.”

• Comment no. 6: “Once we build up mutual trust, I want the EM to truly lead my team and make executive decisions without my involvement.”

This was great feedback, for sure. But I wanted to give Coffee Talk attendees even more to think about, along with tools to implement in their day-to-day work.

So I also shared in this session….

MY TOP 10 LIST of things principals likely WON’T tell you…but will help you C.Y.A.

I’m going to tell you that…

1. If you are confused, overworked or being asked to do something unreasonable, ask for a “RESET.”

2. If you need time off, ask for it and don’t explain why you need it.

3. If you’ve been exposed to COVID, let your employer know ASAP. (If you announce this in their presence, hopefully you’re wearing a mask!)

4. Pursue regular communication with the principal or your Chief of Staff. I suggest weekly.

5. Provide stealth service and require your staff to cut the chatter and distractions.

6. Never appear to be living an extraordinary and expensive personal lifestyle. You’ll only call attention to yourself in a negative way and bear scrutiny over everything.

7. If the family or principal is in a deep discussion or disagreement, read the room. Get out. Never takes sides and never offer your opinion.

8. Speaking of “never,” in the category I call NEVER EVER DO THESE:
   - NEVER pitch a business idea to your principal, their guests or family members.
   - NEVER take kickbacks from your vendors (EVER).
   - And, no matter what your principal says, if they have their own HR department, NEVER file a complaint through it (instead, contact an HR attorney or look for another position).

9. If you made a big mistake that cost money, document:
   - money saved,
   - mechanical failures avoided,
   - when you lowered your principal’s liability risk, and
   - when you sourced an impossible-to-get or unique gift find.
   Why do ⬆️? Because the next time you discuss a raise, your big mistake is almost guaranteed to come up. This way, you’re equipped to show how you offset that loss.

10. And most importantly, if you have lost their confidence and trust, it’s time to go. Move on – for your own sake! Suck it up, learn what you don’t want to do again and be thankful for the experience.

So there’s some FREE tough love, provided with the intention of you doing your best work. Again, my video above provides a lot more insights attached to each tip, so make sure to check it out.

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I hope this is helpful information. If there’s a way I can help you improve your performance and service, please reach out. I’d love to hear from you.

You’ve got this!

xo

Kelly